Over the last twenty years the multiplying demands of media outlets have created a demand for new celebrities. In place of the old order of movie stars and aristocrats in ‘diaries’ is a new breed of soap actors, reality TV stars, models and those simply ‘famous for being famous’ in gossip columns. These new celebrities, variously described as the D or Z List often comprise ordinary people. The argument here is that the treatment of such people on the D-List is illustrative of the ways in which the media seek to patrol our behaviour and offer lessons about knowing one’s place. The distinctions made between real and bogus is connected to the machines of celebrity and the commodification of the self.